Bleh. And non-bleh.

1. I'm not NOT writing about last Friday for any particular reason.  SO many people have done it and have crafted beautiful posts, etc.  It's not just that I don't have anything new to add, it's not that I think nonsense on my blog (me me me) is more important.  I just have Very Big Feelings about it while ALSO feeling like it's so far away from anything I can understand (although I don't think empathy really equals assumed ownership) and I can't sum it up and, well, it's there.  Like it is for everyone, I think.

2. I assume everyones schedule is jam-packed and insane right now, but hopefully yours involves more cookies and parties and sparkly dresses.  I haven't had a cookie (save for a few Candy Cane Oreos I used to hold me over from my morning stress bagel to my 4pm lunch) and I skipped a party I was SO excited about last Friday because it started at 8pm and I got home from work about 830.  I don't own a sparkly dress.  I have bought three gifts for Christmas and this afternoon I realized that THAT IS HAPPENING IN ABOUT THREE DAYS, HOLY BAJEEZ.  One of the gifts I bought turned out to be a microscopic doll and although my 4 yr old niece is small, she's not THAT SMALL, AMAZON.

I'm fortunate (?) that my company closes down between Christmas and New Year's, but while this seems exciting! and wonderful! and permissive!, it is also a bit of a PAIN IN THE ASS because it just means that there are THINGS that have to be accomplished NOW and if they are not accomplished there will be NO ONE to do them later and then I'll be over a week behind.  I am having stress nightmares about our international partners emailing me and saying if I miss a deadline before the New Year something won't happen and things won't ship and I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING.  But I won't GET that email because we're TECHNICALLY CLOSED and I will come back on Jan 2nd or 3rd (I should clear up when that date actually IS) and everything will be ruined.  RUINED.  

Clearly, I am a hair stressed.

And then tonight was my first big Christmas-y event, the Christmas Pageant/Concert/Thing at my nephew's school and I picked up my mom to save her from driving and parking and taking herself since she's on the way and I use my heater (I suspect she doesn't use the heater in her car because it uses up some expensive… car resource that does not exist).  It was so cute and my nephew actually sang with his class this year (the first graders) and the kindergartners BELTED their song and everyone was DARLING and I got to hold my two-month-old niece who was wearing a penguin hat and LO! HOLIDAY SPIRIT arrived on the wings of a brilliant, packed church and small-people voices.

3. I have a lot (A LOT) of good.

    I shot an AMAZING wedding earlier this month and got to hang out with some internet friends and it was PHENOMENAL.  (I shot ANOTHER internet friend just after Thanksgiving and her family was so beautiful and I had so much FUN.  I sometimes find it odd that I ever thought the internet was full of strange people (although, well, at the time I had plenty of experience backing up THAT theory too).  I'm so pleased to have found all the BEST Internet People.)

    My family made Christmas tamales when I was in New Orleans.  This means that I don't have to do ANY dinner cooking for the day and ALSO, I did not have to do any PREP in November and I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT WAS GREAT PLANNING.

    My tiny niece was baptized last Saturday and she's so cute and it's fun to REMEMBER that and there's Chrism and AH.  THAT was a good day.  My sister made tacos.  I got her a fair trade stuffed lamb.  (Hippie.) (Me.)

    I LOVE my job.  Even the stress dreams don't take anything away from it.

    Last night I met up with an old coworker (from the Job from Hell) and it was fun and she's looking for a new job and I might be able to help her.  It would be nice to have more people I like around me and it would be AWESOME to get her on board with my company (for everyone).  Also, there was wine and beet bruschetta and avocado bruschetta.

    My Birchbox had Kerastase samples. Who could ask for anything more?

*** 

I'm going to post the rest of my New Orleans pictures here because (at my posting rate) you'd still be seeing them in MARCH.  Ah, New Orleans.  That's ANOTHER great thing.

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On Nice Pocket Friends

I've been hesitant to respond to comments (or even post) since my post before last where I talk about food and eating and how I just don't feel like myself.  Thank you, everyone, for your nice words and you all are lovely and I wish you could come over for champagne.  I have VERY nice pocket friends and VERY nice out-of-pocket friends and I am a lucky, loved girl.

***

1. New realization: good intentions don't really matter if you don't DO THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO.

Ok, so this is kind of a dumb statement. I get it. Not Earth shattering. It's another variation of needing to get organized and remembering the things that I want to do, the things that are REALLY important to me that I, I don't know, push further and further down my to-do list.  Actually, THAT'S the problem.  I don't HAVE a to-do list.  I get these ideas and I'm excited about them and I start on Step 1 of 5.  But then shit stays at Step 2 for an ungodly amount of time until I REMEMBER and THEN it happens.  New idea (which I'm CLEARLY the FIRST PERSON IN HISTORY TO HAVE): WRITE THINGS DOWN. FORCE YOURSELF.

This doesn't happen at work. I don't miss things and I'm actually (annoyingly) the kind of person who is frustrated if OTHER people miss things.  Certainly, when someone is PAYING you MONEY to follow through on a set list of tasks, most people are going to do that. (Surprisingly, not all! It's shocking!)  But at work, I always know what I'm supposed to be doing and when it's supposed to be done and I work well under those conditions. Make a to-do list, SELF. THIS IS SIMPLE. GEEZ.

2. I am terrified of goats.

Several years ago, when my boyfriend and I had just started dating, we were talking on the phone late at night.  I guess he didn't know about this goat fear of mine and we started talking about it and I'm like "LOOK. Goats. They are TERRIFYING." As someone who grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, who HAD goats and thinks baby goats are some of the cutest creatures EVER, well.  Let's just say he didn't understand.  "Goats are great!  They climb EVERYWHERE and they eat things and they're really nice! They're just goats! What kind of person is scared of goats?"

THIS KIND OF PERSON RIGHT HERE.

So, to bolster my argument surrounding goats and their sheer horror, I told him that they have scary devil eyes.  And, although he wasn't in the room or even within a 30 mile radius, I decided to Google image search "goat eyes." Because I am clearly not smart and ALSO, I must have FORGOTTEN how the internet WORKS. YOU probably know what happens when you Google image search "goat eyes" because you're an intelligent person who knows that you're just going to have about TWENTY GOAT EYES STARING AT YOU FROM A LUMINESCENT SCREEN.

About this time, I notice that someone is shining a flashlight into my window.  I was renting a house with my best friends and their two babies at the time (long story involving an under-water townhouse and a fast adoption) and despite the crowd, I was still my regular paranoid self.  Our back yard kind of backed up against the neighbor's yard and they had dogs (well, we ALSO had dogs) and I'm thinking it's the guy next door looking for poop/raccoons/runaway pets.  But it keeps happening and, given the fact that an entire goat farm just climbed through my computer screen and violated me with their square beady pupils, I GET SCARED.  ANYTHING COULD BE HAPPENING.  UFO? SERIAL KILLER WITH BAD FLASHLIGHT SKILLS? OFFENDED GOATS?

If you don't agree that I had every right to be completely and OUTRAGEOUSLY terrified, well, I just don't understand your nonchalance.  I'm still on the phone and Kevin is saying "go to the window and LOOK, I'm sure it's NOTHING", but I've watched enough Law and Order to know that the people who go to the window either get killed first or see things that they don't want to see that THEN makes them the NEXT person to get killed somewhere down the line.  Someone who is 30 miles away who IS NOT SEEING THE FLASHLIGHT IN MY ROOM isn't helping me and the house is SILENT and no one else knows about the murderer/goat hoard/aliens and so I get OFF the phone ("yawn, it's SO late, I'm just GOING TO GO TO BED, night night now, NO BIGGIE.") and decide that I will SLEEP ON THE COUCH because THAT IS SAFE. (This is poor thinking, I know.)

I'm laying on this cold leather couch, stiff as board just WAITING and the damn cat won't shut up and he comes over and tries to lay RIGHT on my CHEST and I'm convinced that this cat (who is old with no teeth and who doesn't like to cuddle) is having some sixth sense about the criminal danger that we are both in when there is a HUGE crash and a deep rumble and the house shakes and then rain starts falling in bucket-sized drops.

And that is how I learn that lightening storms sometimes disguise themselves as serial killer with a flashlight.

***

Still on New Orleans shots from the Garden District.  (Jess- I can't wait to see if you have something similar!!)

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